Psalm 4:4 Know that the Lord works wonders for the faithful; the Lord hears when I call out.

Psalm 4:4 Know that the Lord works wonders for the faithful; the Lord hears when I call out.

With deepest sadness, I write to tell you all that my beautiful mother Suzanne was called home to be with the good Lord yesterday afternoon.

We are so thankful for the prayers you offered up to our dear God for Suzanne. We begged for peace and the good Lord responded.

In the coming days I graciously ask that you continue praying for my family and especially - my grandmother Blanche, my mom's husband Ray, my sisters Rebecca and Ashley and my brother Christopher. While we are comforted in knowing she no longer suffers, our hearts ache with this tremendous loss.

Tomorrow I will have the confirmed date and time information about her service taking place later this week at Holy Spirit Catholic Church.

With love and gratitude,
Lauren

Romans 8:18 - I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18 - I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed to us.

This particular verse is so powerful and given our current situation, I felt like I needed to share.

I know weeks and weeks go by and many of you wait for an update, but sadly, sometimes it's just so hard to communicate what's happening. The disease process is taking its toll and slowly all of the small activities that used to come so naturally to mom are becoming more difficult for her each day.

Fortunately, Suzanne's pain has been pretty well managed with morphine and methodone over the last few weeks. In the last couple of days though, eating has become perhaps the biggest chore. She has extreme sensitivity in her mouth which makes it hard to eat almost anything and there tends to be a tremendous amount of discomfort associated with digestion. The lack of nutrition has essentially meant diminished energy and the loss of much weight.

All things considered, we're doing what we can to keep her comfortable and smiling. So speaking of smiling, here are few smile-worthy moments:

A recent highlight was Becky's Prom. Mom beamed as she saw her beautiful daughter all dressed up and ready for her night out...

I was the chauffeur for the evening and sister Ashley was my co-pilot..

 

Another highlight - Ashley received an honorable mention at the State level for the Reflections contest. This year's theme was "Beauty is" and Ashley's entry was an essay about our beautiful mother. It's worth noting that only 800 out of 107,000 entries received an award and Ashley was one of them. Way to go sister! Unfortunately though, Ashley did not save a copy so none of us have actually read the essay. Thanks Ashley! :) I'm sure it was amazing and we're still working on getting a copy.

Another highlight - Those sweet people at mom's work sent over an ENORMOUS card reading "We Love You Suzanne" and included lots of sweet thoughts for her. She loved it and her spirits were definitely lifted. She's very well aware that Pasteur Plaza Surgery Center is NOT the same without her and that it must be awfully quiet without hearing her opinion on a daily basis. :) (Don't worry, she's still happy to offer her opinion at home though.)

As the days move forward, I can't promise to write with consistency, but I will certainly try.

We need your continued prayers that the good Lord eases Suzanne's pain and suffering and brings her peace.

I also request continued prayers for my family -- that we may continue to stay strong and allow God's grace to get us through each day.

Romans (8:24-25) For in hope we were saved. Now hope that sees for itself is not hope. For who hopes for what one sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance.  

What a weekend.

Prior to this weekend, the last couple of weeks had been okay... not great, but not terrible either. The hospice nurses were making weekly visits and Suzanne's pain had been pretty well maintained with methodone and hydrocodone. As recently as last Thursday, my children and I had dinner with mom at her house and Madeline and Benjamin kept her smiling and laughing the entire time we were there. Such a treat.

And then Saturday came. A day like no other and one I hope we don't repeat ever again. The suffering that Suzanne went through that day was in one word - AWFUL. The pain was unlike anything she had felt before and for the entire day eating was impossible because she couldn't keep anything down. By the evening a nurse came out and suggested that she start taking morphine to tackle the pain. Within a few hours Suzanne finally found some comfort and was able to get some rest.

Yesterday Suzanne was able to remain fairly comfortable and rest most of the day. Fortunately she also regained some of her appetite. I laughed last night as she took a few minutes to catch up on the Sunday gossip in the "Star". She informed us that little Suri Cruise now has a $38,000 Cadillac toy car. And even later in the evening Ray said she was cracking up at the Apprentice and all the ding dongs on that show. :)

Today Susie has been moving around a little more so we're happy to see that we've gotten better control of the pain.

We need your continued prayers for Suzanne this week. Please pray that her pain subsides and that her heart, mind and body remain at peace. Please also keep Ray and our family in your prayers so that we may contine providing her the best care and companionship possible.

With love,
Lauren

One day at a time

Hi family and friends. Sorry for the break in posts. We've had lots going on with our little Susie so it's been tough to sit down and just write.

Thankfully Spring Break has arrived and yesterday Suzanne took a little road trip to San Pedro Park with Ray and the girls to see the natural springs. It was such a beautiful day and mom really enjoyed taking in the sunshine and spending time with her favorite people.

Over the last few weeks, Suzanne has spent most of her time at home resting. As most of you know, chemotherapy was not working so we've come to a point in which we are simply trying to keep her comfortable. The wonderful people of Christus Santa Rosa have started coming by her house to check on her and make sure she has everything she needs for pain and other medical issues.

I kindly ask for your continued prayers for Suzanne, particularly that God grant her the peace and comfort she needs right now. I also ask for prayers for my family as this challenging time can be so much to process.

Finally, I would like to express how grateful we are for all of the love and support we have received over the last few weeks. We are so blessed to have such an abundance of family and friends that consistently make sure we have everything we need. A BIG THANK YOU TO:

- Ray's wonderful family who in addition to taking care of all of us, always see to it that Becky and Ashley have a busy social calender. :)

- Norma who offers priceless company to my mother, cooks for our family all the time and takes my sisters on shopping excursions.

- My wonderful husband, everyone in my husband's family, Terri and all of my San Antonio friends who have taken care of my children over and over again for the last few months so that I can spend time with my beautiful mother.

- The AMAZING people of Pasteur Plaza Surgery Center who have donated HUNDREDS of hours to my mom so she could continue to receive medical benefits and a paycheck. Words could never express how much your generosity means to us and we are eternally grateful.

- To all of you who offer prayers and send messages... they are our source of strength and we appreciate them so much.


With love and promises to post again soon,
Lauren

Susie's headed back home

Hi Family and Friends.

Suzanne was released from the hospital today and is finally headed back home. Fortunately, the hospital stay went by quickly and without a doubt the antibiotics and blood transfusion have served her well.

While we are so happy that mom gets to go rest in the comfort of her home now, we are saddened by the tough news Dr. Massey had for us today. He says that mom's CA125 level has continued to increase despite the most recent drug used for chemotherapy. Suzanne will meet with him again next Wednesday to discuss her options going forward.

You can imagine how difficult all this uncertainty is for her, this incredible fighter who just doesn't know how to give up, and her family, wanting to hold on to her forever. This chapter of life is almost incomprehensible for all of us and each second of the day is filled with a rollercoaster of emotions.

Your prayers and messages of encouragement have been extraordinary. Thank you and feel free to keep them coming. (Send them directly to Suzanne at strengthforsuzanne@gmail.com or comment below.) We are always so grateful. Facing the unknown requires true faith in God, and it is a prayer for this that perhaps we need most.


Thanks and love to you all,
Lauren

Hospital - Day 3

It's Wednesday evening and I just got home from a hospital visit with mom.

Yesterday she received 2 units of blood and has been on IV antibiotics since being admitted on Monday.  She got lots of rest last night (finally a peaceful night) and today she sounded so much better and seemed to be building up some strength.

Unfortunately though, during our visit tonight she started experiencing extremely intense abdominal pain. I think there may have been a lapse of too much time since her last dose of pain medication which is never good.

Please pray for Suzanne's body to continue fighting this infection and building strength so she can return home soon.

More tomorrow...
Lauren

The next challenge

Today is Tuesday and our next challenge in this battle has officially arrived. Over the weekend mom had fever and chills (Friday night, Saturday night and all day Sunday) and by yesterday she just couldn't shake it. So despite her pleading with us not to do it, we called Dr. Massey and he had us take her to Methodist. She was admitted last night.

Dr. Massey was not pleased that we had allowed a few days to go by before calling him. But if you know Suzanne, you know that getting her to the doctor, much less a hospital, requires some begging, pleading and not allowing yourself to fall for those tears. We had all fallen for the tears over the weekend and ultimately - we just wanted to let her rest in the peace of her home. Plus, she had a similiar situation with fever and chills happen about a month ago, and she seemed to overcome that on her own while at home.

At any rate, Ray and I took our scolding from Dr. Massey and we won't let it happen again. We promise.

So as of this morning, mom found out that she has an infection in her white blood cells so she's on an IV antibiotic. This seems to be working. Additionally, Suzanne's hemoglobin is low so she will be getting a blood transfusion today (I think, or maybe tomorrow). Those wondeful nurses at Methodist are taking good care of her (as they always do) and hopefully she'll be home by the end of the week. I will post updates as we get them.

Just wanted to also pass along a little happy time from this past weekend. On Saturday, we had a window where mom was feeling okay so my sisters and I decided to take her to Boerne. What a beautiful day it was! We headed over to Peach Cafe and had such a great girls lunch!! The staff was so nice and we honestly felt like we were having a homecooked lunch at someone's house.

Mom had Chicken and Dumplings...

Mandy had a bowl of chili and Becky had shrimp gumbo...

Ashley had Chicken Pot Pie....

and I had an amazing Turkey Caprese Panini of which I forgot to take a picture.

Susie had just enough energy to browse around two shops and back home we went. We were so blessed to have such a beautiful time together.

As updates come in, I will pass them along. Please continue to keep Suzanne in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Lauren

Good news this week!

Susie received some very good news this week! After a routine exam with Dr. Massey on Tuesday he found that some of her masses seem to be getting smaller. Hooray, hooray for this wonderful news! While mom is still feeling a little run down from all the chemo she's had over the last few weeks, she was very happy to hear that this latest drug must be working. We'll have more specific results next week when she has her labwork done and her CA125 levels retested.

The other good news is that Susie gets a break from chemo this week (first break in 4 weeks if I'm not mistaken...wow). So, let's hope and pray that by the time this weekend comes, mom is feeling strong enough to head outdoors and enjoy some sunshine. And after all the rain we've had lately, we could all use a little sunshine by now, right?

In the next day or two I'm planning to write a post about my beautiful sisters and what they're doing at home to keep mom comfortable and cared for.... at the ages of 16 and 13 these girls are keeping up with so much in their school and home life and I really want to recognize all that they do. Until then... be well!